Once again our ‘Deep-Swamp’ Speculative Investigative Reporter, Sir Ben Gunn has an Exclusive scoop of the behind-the-scenes happenings of the Biden Darkhouse and its MLB backwards march to the Scrubbed Clean White House.

Joe Biden says if he is elected, he plans on Outlawing women’s hair loss by Executive order, and in fact, it is reported that he has already started hiring women to work in the White House. His new Minister of Hair Affairs will soon be announced once the Ho {Harris Office} picks one.

In a recent interview, Joe gave a short interview and when asked what goals he hopes to achieve he said…

“The roots of our problem lay deep within a woman’s head, whether it be dyed green or blond or just the tips are frosted. But this is the foundation of beauty where darkness abounds in the light of snowflakes, and where sand crabs nibble at your leg hairs on a sunny afternoon…  Not many people know that I had dreamed as a child of becoming a hairdresser before I landed this gig.” End plagiarized quote.

But, what may be a monkey wrench in his plans is his beautiful wife Jill, In what some say was a jealous fit of rage, is demanding that all fifty-women be bald.

What an oxymoron or maybe just a moron. Time will tell.

He was seen throwing a hissyfit upon hearing the news but found a soft shoulder to cry on in the form of his running mate Camel Hairass, as he pronounces it. Signs and banners could be seen propped up against the wall saying Joe and the Ho.

He is also already looking for a hair Czar and is working off a leaked list which Ben Gunn was able to pry it out of the mouth of Nancy Pelosie for a bottle of Gin and a bag of pretzels. That list includes Cyndie Wopper, Cher, Loopee Goldberg and Frankenstein’s Bride, Ru Paul, and last but not least by a mile is Mayor Beetlejuice of Chicago.

Republicans are calling this a selfish move slanted at affecting mostly the Democratic party, after the University Of Sweden’s study showed Republicans by a 5 to 1 margin, have far more hair than their across the aisle friends.

Our award-winning undercover reporter Ben Gunn, scooped this story before all the major networks, including the Communist News Nutworks [CNN], which BTW was just purchased by George Sorruss, Hillary and Governor Cuomo, in what could only be described as a backroom knife fight, sorry to report everybody is still standing.